(A dialogue between Santa Claus (HR), Blitzen (Employee), Dasher (Supervisor), Rudolph(Replacement Worker), and Dr. Prancer)
Santa Claus
On the 30th day before FMLA Blitzen Reindeer gave to me,
A notice of his need for surgery .
Blitzen
On the 25th day before FMLA Santa Claus gave to me,
Eligibility status notification,
Within 5 days of notice of my need for pending surgery.
Santa Claus
On the 24th day before FMLA the postman gave to me,
Certification form proof of delivery,
1 day after eligibility status notification,
Within 5 days of Blitzen’s notice of his need for pending surgery.
Santa Claus
On the 9th day before FMLA Dr. Prancer faxed to me,
Blitzen’s medical certification,
Within 15 days of proof of delivery,
1 day after eligibility status notification,
Within 5 days of Blitzen’s notice of his need for pending surgery.
Santa Claus
On the 1st day of FMLA Blitzen’s supervisor, Dasher cried to me,
‘Where’s Blitzen’s replacement?’
9 days after receipt of Blitzen’s medical certification (Are you serious?),
Within 15 days of proof of delivery,
1 day after eligibility status notification,
Within 5 days of Blitzen’s notice of his need for pending surgery.
Dasher
On the 2nd day of FMLA Santa Claus gave to me,
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer as a replacement for Blitzen finally!
1 whole day after Blitzen’s 1st day of absence,
9 days after receipt of Blitzen’s medical certification (Are you serious?),
Within 15 days of proof of delivery,
1 day after eligibility status notification,
Within 5 days of Blitzen’s notice of his need for pending surgery.
Santa Claus
On the 10th day of FMLA Dr. Prancer faxed to me,
Notice of the end of Blitzen’s short term disability,
8 days after Rudolph being a temporary replacement
1 whole day after Blitzen’s 1st day of absence,
9 days after receipt of Blitzen’s medical certification (Are you serious?),
Within 15 days of proof of delivery,
1 day after eligibility status notification,
Within 5 days of Blitzen’s notice of his need for pending surgery.
Dasher
On the 1st day back to work Blitzen came by my office to talk,
To complain of pain resulting from his surgery,
1 day after notice of the end of Blitzen’s short term disability,
8 days after Rudolph being a temporary replacement
1 whole day after Blitzen’s 1st day of absence,
9 days after receipt of Blitzen’s medical certification (Are you serious?),
Within 15 days of proof of delivery,
1 day after eligibility status notification,
Within 5 days of Blitzen’s notice of his need for pending surgery.
Santa Claus
On Blitzen’s 5th day back to work Dr. Prancer faxed to me.
An updated medical certification indicating Blitzen’s restrictions,
4 days after Blitzen complained of pain,
1 day after notice of the end of Blitzen’s short term disability,
8 days after Rudolph being a temporary replacement
1 whole day after Blitzen’s 1st day of absence,
9 days after receipt of Blitzen’s medical certification (Are you serious?),
Within 15 days of proof of delivery,
1 day after eligibility status notification,
Within 5 days of Blitzen’s notice of his need for pending surgery.
Santa Claus
On his 15th day back to work Blitzen was out for therapy.
He had exceeded his therapy hours by one-half dozen,
Just 10 days after receipt of an updated medical certification,
4 days after Blitzen complained of pain,
1 day after notice of the end of Blitzen’s short term disability,
8 days after Rudolph being a temporary replacement
1 whole day after Blitzen’s 1st day of absence,
9 days after receipt of Blitzen’s medical certification (Are you serious?),
Within 15 days of proof of delivery,
1 day after eligibility status notification,
Within 5 days of Blitzen’s notice of his need for pending surgery.
Santa Claus
On Blitzen’s 20th day back to work Dr. Prancer faxed to me.
Notification of Blitzen’s completion of therapy treatment,
5 days after he had exceeded his treatment hours,
Just 10 days after receipt of an updated medical certification,
4 days after Blitzen complained of pain,
1 day after notice of the end of Blitzen’s short term disability,
8 days after Rudolph being a temporary replacement
1 whole day after Blitzen’s 1st day of absence,
9 days after receipt of Blitzen’s medical certification (Are you serious?),
Within 15 days of proof of delivery,
1 day after eligibility status notification,
Within 5 days of Blitzen’s notice of his need for pending surgery.
Santa Claus
On the 25th day back to work Blitzen felt good enough to say,
‘I feel so good I could deliver presents!’
5 days after notification of Blitzen’s completion of treatment,
5 days after he had exceeded his therapy hours,
Just 10 days after receipt of an updated medical certification,
4 days after Blitzen complained of pain,
1 day after notice of the end of Blitzen’s short term disability,
8 days after Rudolph being a temporary replacement
1 whole day after Blitzen’s 1st day of absence,
9 days after receipt of Blitzen’s medical certification (Are you serious?),
Within 15 days of proof of delivery,
1 day after eligibility status notification,
Within 5 days of Blitzen’s notice of his need for pending surgery.